10 Ways To Love Yourself More & Gain Self-Confidence
Low self-esteem and not having enough love and respect for yourself is something every single person on earth deals with, some more than others, and some would fool us into thinking they've never had an inkling of an issue with this at all. They're lying. We're all uncertain of of our actions and of ourselves at some point, and sometimes it gets so bad that we're downright sick about it. (I, particularly, have an unbelievable recurring issue with this.) Things aren't going how we'd like, and we wonder how it got this way. We look in the mirror and are disappointed with how we look, that we haven't made it where we would like to be in our careers or in school, haven't found a partner yet. What we don't realize is that these negative thoughts spawn more negative thoughts, which brings forth negativity in our lives. Our subconscious thoughts about ourselves come out in our actions toward other people, and toward the things in our lives- work, school, finances, and we get back what we put into these life elements. Just like our diets, if we've been putting negativity in, (bad food) we get negativity out (an unhealthy body). It's a vicious circle. So, what do we do about it? Well, we 1) acknowledge the problem, 2) confess it to ourselves, and 3) do our best to change how we think of ourselves. Ok so we've got 1 and 2 locked down, how the heck do we tackle number 3? I'll give you a few ways, but only if you promise to try them. These everyday habits will help you think more positively of yourself, boost self-esteem, and eventually help you reap more positive benefits from your life.
1) Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Ever heard the term 'you are the company you keep'? Or what about 'iron sharpens iron'? The people that you hang out with have an immense impact on your outlook on life and how you view yourself. If you're always with people who talk about their insecurities and their pitfalls, your likely to dwell on your own as well. Likewise, if you've got positive, ambitious friends, you're likely to follow suit, and believe in yourself that you can achieve your goals as well.
2) Plan your days, and plan for yourself. Your more likely to have a positive outlook and feel good about yourself if your errands are ran, bills are paid, homework is finished, etc. Plan out your day for what you can realistically achieve, and get the things done that are important to you and to the path your on. There's less risk of anxiety, depression, and overwhelming emotions if you've gotten done what you needed to do, and fulfilled your needs. The second part to this tip is to plan for yourself. Be sure to fit some time into your day to do the thing(s) that you love and that give you joy/relaxation. Find time for that book you've been wanting to read, some relaxing yoga, a cheesy movie, etc. And actually plan for it!
3) Get enough sleep. This may seem like a small thing, but so often I hear stressed out friends mention that they don't sleep well, and never really have. If you feel burnt out and worn out you're energy and ultimately your confidence will decrease. You have to feel rested in order to complete the tasks that need to get done and to be sociable, but it goes so much deeper than being rested. How much sleep we get affects our hormones. Specifically, it affects our cortisol (stress hormone) levels, and our HGH (Human Growth Hormone) levels. The HGH levels in our body have an effect on our mood, appetite, metabolism, and much more, so if it's off balance, you're likely to feel lethargic, crave bad foods, have mood swings, etc. And that cannot be good for your confidence and positive outlook. 8 hours of sleep, no more, no less.
4) Reward and acknowledge yourself. We can get so caught up in everything we have to do that we forget to stop and feel good about our little achievements. We must reward ourselves mentally and emotionally for the good things we have done, instead of constantly feeling bad for the things we haven't done. Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses, and keep pushing yourself to be better. If your feeling guilty about a diet that you've sabotaged, get back on track, and allow yourself one treat or reward each week for how well you've done. But don't beat yourself up.
5) Take a break, sloooow dooowwwwn. I know you've heard the phrase 'stop and smell the flowers' and 'take a chill pill'. You may be depleting yourself of love and self-confidence by living a go go go lifestyle and never slow down mentality. Your life is too sped up that you aren't thinking clearly. Relax and take life one step at a time, literally stopping to look up at the stars, take a deep breath, and possibly smell some flowers!
6) Set small goals for yourself. Instead of wallowing in regret for never chasing your dream(s), or feeling like you'll never be able to win that Grammy or start that big company you've always dreamt of, (when you've never actually picked up an instrument or researched entrepreneurship) start taking tiny steps toward that seemingly massive goal. Tiny, realistic steps that you can conquer in a reasonable amount of time will give you the little boosts of confidence you need each time you complete them. Start small, and build your dream, loving and respecting yourself more and more in the process.
7) Give. Now this is a very important, yet deep one. You may hear it often, that being charitable makes you feel good. Well it turns out, it's true. Even if your plum broke and feel like your working harder than everyone else that's "in need", donating clothes to the local shelter, joining a community animal care group, or giving someone the quarter they need for that coke at the machine can boost your self-confidence quite a bit. Humans were created to live in community with each other and we are far too often lonely and disengaged from any sort of community besides our loved ones. When we become involved with a good cause we are engaging ourselves in that natural human need for community, no matter how small the act may be. Just try it!
8) Don't be afraid to say no. If you're a people-pleaser (like me) or an overachiever, you know it's sometimes hard to say no to all the invites, opportunities, and temptations that get thrown your way on a daily basis. If you haven't had that time to yourself, or if your feeling drained, you need to learn to say no. It's a confidence booster because you've taken the reigns of your own time, and became the supervisor of your own happiness. Don't feel obligated to do things to please other people if you feel like it'll detract from you and your health.
9) Move around. There's a long list of health benefits for exercise and spontaneous movement in general. Not only does it boost your serotonin levels, (the feel-good chemical in your brain) but it engages the HGH hormone which burns fat and boosts metabolism. Even if it's a quarter mile walk every day or just little bursts of activity throughout the day. Do some jumping jacks or get a jump rope for your down time. Every little bit helps, and when your body's happy, your mind is happy.
10) Plan more activities. Even though spending time to yourself for relaxation and recharging is imperative to your self-respect and confidence, cooping yourself up at home watching Netflix or YouTube videos for hours and days on end isn't going to help your self-confidence...at all*. (Believe me, I've been there.) Fill your calendar with fun activities, preferably with your new rockin' positive group of friends, family, and some movement. Make time to go out for drinks to unwind and have fun, play tennis, join a volunteer or backpacking group, a kickboxing class with a girlfriend, you name it. Just GET OUT. Your confidence will thank you.
*People with more active lifestyles and a solid group of friends are shown to be the happiest people on the planet.